Just finally finished the book I've been reading since September. I got Hunter Thompson's The Great Shark Hunt for my birthday last year and have been picking at it on and off ever since. I love the feeling of finishing a book...reading those last few words on the page and then closing it. You look at the back cover, something you've seen and read over a million times already, but this time, there's that air of finality to it. You can finally put the book on the shelf and really mean it this time.
It shouldn't have taken me six and a half months to finish this book, but I've been busy in between starting it and now. I love books, but I don't read for the journey, I read for the destination. Nothing feels quite as good as finishing a book, and I like looking at my shelf and being able to say that I've made legitimate progress. I've proven myself to be a quick reader but a hard thinker, but nothing ever goes as planned...hard thinking...I guess that's what you could call what I'm doing now.
I'm sitting at my desk, looking out at the clouds that have gathered over the parking lot to my apartment complex. Just 3 hours ago, the sky was clear and the sun was out. Is it the weather that affects my mood, or the other way around? Have I discovered the power to call clouds to do my bidding simply by sitting down and thinking about things? And what is it that I have to think about to bring the various changes? If I was mad enough, could I produce hurricanes?
I wouldn't even call this mood 'depressed'. I have nothing to be sad about. I'm truly doing alright in life. Nor am I poignant or pensive or anything else. I'm simply just thinking...I've never liked the idea of 'thoughtful' as a mood, but it sortof applies here.
I should be doing homework, and I will soon. I have a bad habit of letting it pile up, and then being mad at myself as I sit there the night before it's due saying "you knew better." So I'm gonna wring it out now and not have to worry about it all day tomorrow. I've nothing else to do tonight, so why not?
Almost a full year of college down, and I don't know what I want to do with it. I can't legitimately tell myself that I'm wasting time, because I'm not. One minute of college education is better than willfully remaining ignorant, and I could never forgive myself if I was forced to go back to another dead-end job like the gas station for lack of trying. But as it turns out, my initial plan for college may not work out. The major thing that inspired me towards journalism (1UP and EGM) ended up showing me just what kind of reward hard work and dedication will get you in this business (corporate buyout and half their very talented staff got laid off simply because the new company didn't want to pay for the magazine anymore.)
So I'm caught in a bit of a reevaluation. I guess it's too early to be having the crisis at this point, as I've still got time to focus my studies elsewhere...but do I? I'm going to college off the money my father left me, which is finite and when it runs out, I'll lose the comfort level I had going into it. I feel like it will all sort itself out once I figure out a specialty, but simultaneously, to believe that is fooling myself into thinking that life only gets easier once you've pointed to a direction when in fact you have to move forward to accomplish anything.
I've been getting the feeling, with increasing frequency, that changes are afoot. That after this year, life will be a lot different than it's ever been before, even with the changes of last year. I'm not sure if I should be afraid of it or not, but the notion of the magnitude of the changes are looming to me.
Relationships breaking down; old friendships disolving (and then subsequently going unmissed, even); even the realization that the solid staples, the things that are permanent in your life, are beginning to look less and less so. We take so much for granted, that when the hammer finally falls, you come to a sudden stop with the weight of the change. Do you accept it and move on? Or do you stay in the past and fight for everything you've ever known.
More and more, the idea of moving on is starting to look appealing. I've always been a big fan of simplifying things, and I've come to the realization that there's no point in holding on to something if it won't benefit you any longer. After some careful examination, there was little benefit left to me in some of the friendships I've lost over the past year, so I'm not entirely sad that they're gone. I get the feeling that it's mutual, anyhow.
So then what do you do? You pick it up and slide along the path that you pointed to so long ago. It always seems like the checkered flag looks brightest from the starting line. The idea of putting away childish things always seemed sad and scary to me, but it's becoming necessary for the betterment of what lies ahead. I'm almost to the point now that I'd walk forward with my eyes shut if it keeps me from having to back up.
So I'll continue to figure out just what it is I want out of life, and who it is I want there with me in the end. The clouds have fully settled in the sky now, but I feel a lot better than when I started this so I guess that shuts out my theory of weather control. Oh well. There could have been money in that.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Rather Sad Day.
Steve Page, the lead singer of my favorite band ever, the Barenaked Ladies, is leaving the band.
This makes me really damned sad. He was one of my favorite singers and a major creative force in the band. They'll be going on and recording a new album without him, while he'll be working on his solo project.
They put out a press release on their website that makes it sounds like everything's hunky-dory, but I'm not sure I believe it. Page's drug bust back in November was a real blow to the band, especially while they were trying to promote their first childrens album. They stood by him, but it sounds like the damage was done. On the Ships and Dip Cruise earlier this year, people said the band seemed a bit distant towards each other, especially Page and the rest of the group.
So I guess it doesn't surprise me, but it still makes me sad as hell. The band just won't be the same without him.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
I Support Dusty
Posting this to spread the word, because this kid fucked himself in the ass.
Funny how this kid's officially made an enemy of 4chan, for Christ's sake.
Funny how this kid's officially made an enemy of 4chan, for Christ's sake.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Can't Even Take a Full Piss in 100 Days...
So I'm a bit ticked that the news media and all the pundits (on both sides, really) are harking on Obama for not doing enough in the stimulus bill. "There's not enough money for [social program x] in the bill! You promised us this in the campaign! Waaah!"
It's been 15 days. Give the guy a break. He's with us for 4 years, and he's got a congress to pass shit for him for at least two. And I don't see them losing all that many seats in two years, unless they pass the infamous "baby eating" bill. Then they're probably going to find some enemies in the polls.
And I'm not sure I like the idea that the first 100 days are the most important in a president's term anyway. Nothing is set in stone like that. The first 100 days of Bush's presidency, he was a comedic laughing stock, just a bumbling president quickly on his way to "1-Term History". Then 9/11 happened during on the 234th day of that first year, and it completely changed the tone for the whole rest of his term (and no matter what you say, it was still 9/11 that got him re-elected.) Stuff can happen that will affect policy. 100 days doesn't mean anything.
But my point still stands. I trust Obama to deliver on the stuff he promised. This bill is to get the economy back in shape. We'll work on education, health-care, and all that good stuff later.
We're so glad to get rid of Bush and the republicans and are so ready for change that we expect it to come overnight. Awesome doesn't work that way, unfortunately.
It's been 15 days. Give the guy a break. He's with us for 4 years, and he's got a congress to pass shit for him for at least two. And I don't see them losing all that many seats in two years, unless they pass the infamous "baby eating" bill. Then they're probably going to find some enemies in the polls.
And I'm not sure I like the idea that the first 100 days are the most important in a president's term anyway. Nothing is set in stone like that. The first 100 days of Bush's presidency, he was a comedic laughing stock, just a bumbling president quickly on his way to "1-Term History". Then 9/11 happened during on the 234th day of that first year, and it completely changed the tone for the whole rest of his term (and no matter what you say, it was still 9/11 that got him re-elected.) Stuff can happen that will affect policy. 100 days doesn't mean anything.
But my point still stands. I trust Obama to deliver on the stuff he promised. This bill is to get the economy back in shape. We'll work on education, health-care, and all that good stuff later.
We're so glad to get rid of Bush and the republicans and are so ready for change that we expect it to come overnight. Awesome doesn't work that way, unfortunately.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
I'm growing up, why can't you?
Mom and I went to Louie's Bar and Grill downtown today. It's a pretty solid establishment, and I enjoyed it.
The menu is only 1 page long, but it's divided into sections (Burgers, Sandwiches, Soup & Salads, Entrees, etc.) and each section is a specific price, as opposed to all items being different. I like that idea, it seems to make a lot of sense. Mom got a quesadilla and I got a rather large bacon cheeseburger, fries and a drink, and the whole bill totaled to about 17 bucks. They also had quite the liquor selection, though I didn't feel like partaking at 11 AM. It seems like a decent, grown-up people bar for the rest of us who don't enjoy the Strip atmosphere.
I think a thing like this is exactly what Stillwater needs. With the Children's museum opening, Vault moving back Downtown, and Louie's doing well, we could see a nice revamping of downtown's atmosphere that's been lacking for a while. A place that's nice for the whole family during the day and turns into an intelligent adult scene at night. Too often in Stillwater, it's just franchise after franchise, and if you wanted any sort of nightlife, you better be willing to deal with college cowboys. Maybe we'll see Stillwater get a bit more mature. Maybe.
The menu is only 1 page long, but it's divided into sections (Burgers, Sandwiches, Soup & Salads, Entrees, etc.) and each section is a specific price, as opposed to all items being different. I like that idea, it seems to make a lot of sense. Mom got a quesadilla and I got a rather large bacon cheeseburger, fries and a drink, and the whole bill totaled to about 17 bucks. They also had quite the liquor selection, though I didn't feel like partaking at 11 AM. It seems like a decent, grown-up people bar for the rest of us who don't enjoy the Strip atmosphere.
I think a thing like this is exactly what Stillwater needs. With the Children's museum opening, Vault moving back Downtown, and Louie's doing well, we could see a nice revamping of downtown's atmosphere that's been lacking for a while. A place that's nice for the whole family during the day and turns into an intelligent adult scene at night. Too often in Stillwater, it's just franchise after franchise, and if you wanted any sort of nightlife, you better be willing to deal with college cowboys. Maybe we'll see Stillwater get a bit more mature. Maybe.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Gotta remember to be posting titles...
This is my movie shelf. More importantly, this is me uploading my first image to my blog and seeing how the thing behaves.
I swear, I could run the House of Reps myself...
Okay, I've been following the Stimulus bill drama all week, really. I've made a few observations.
1. Rush Limbaugh needs to shut the hell up. The problem is, now that he's in the opposition party, that makes his voice a bit louder. The president would be wise not to flat out pick a fight with him (over anything, really), because it simply gives more credit to Rush's cause. Rush will eventually fade back into relative obscurity; he sure as hell isn't the new leader of the GOP.
2. The Republicans are showing their colors now. They seem to simply be opposing the bill because they weren't the ones that wrote it. Boehner, Cantor, and the rest are just using the fact that they're at the forefront of the opposition to try to garner up support for a currently struggling party. They don't have the votes to actually do anything and they know it, so the more they make themselves out to look the victims, the better they are.
The problem with looking the victim is that...well, they're not. The American people elected a Democratic President and a Democratic Congress because the Republicans were honestly fucking it up. Playing the victim here isn't going to do it because the people have already shown you they're tired of your bullshit.
3. The media kindof needs to shitcan the doubting. Does no one see what's going on here? I honestly trust President Obama with what he's trying to do...First you create a polarizing bill. No matter what you say about it, the idea of spending THAT much money on public works is going to upset SOMEONE. But, it's needed. So here's what you do: You create a bill that's going to piss people off. You put a bunch of stuff in it that you may not have actually wanted, or stuff that you can put in later bills. This gives the opposition something to get their panties in a wad about. You concede those points, and give them what they want, still keeping the basic idea in your bill. You know this isn't nearly going to be enough to please them, but you at least make the effort to reach out and say "Look, we brought you guys in, we included you in the decision." Thus, when they still oppose the bill, you at least have the out of "Well, we tried," because you knew you had the votes all along to get what you actually wanted. You come out A. The victor, and B. Looking like the good guys because you at least reached forward to try to compromise. The Republicans simply look like they're throwing a tantrum because they know they're going to lose.
This gives you more leverage with both Moderate Republicans down the line who know they need to at least meet you halfway or risk looking like a bunch of stalwarts come the midterms; and leverage with the American People who voted you in and are seeing your ideas (and therefore, their ideas) come to fruition, making them feel good about having voted for you in the first place. Maybe then, they'll vote MORE of your kind in on the next go-round?
What an amazing concept, right?
Edit: Note not one Republican voted for the bill...not a single one of them. It took all of 9 days for the spirit of bipartisanship to prove worthless.
1. Rush Limbaugh needs to shut the hell up. The problem is, now that he's in the opposition party, that makes his voice a bit louder. The president would be wise not to flat out pick a fight with him (over anything, really), because it simply gives more credit to Rush's cause. Rush will eventually fade back into relative obscurity; he sure as hell isn't the new leader of the GOP.
2. The Republicans are showing their colors now. They seem to simply be opposing the bill because they weren't the ones that wrote it. Boehner, Cantor, and the rest are just using the fact that they're at the forefront of the opposition to try to garner up support for a currently struggling party. They don't have the votes to actually do anything and they know it, so the more they make themselves out to look the victims, the better they are.
The problem with looking the victim is that...well, they're not. The American people elected a Democratic President and a Democratic Congress because the Republicans were honestly fucking it up. Playing the victim here isn't going to do it because the people have already shown you they're tired of your bullshit.
3. The media kindof needs to shitcan the doubting. Does no one see what's going on here? I honestly trust President Obama with what he's trying to do...First you create a polarizing bill. No matter what you say about it, the idea of spending THAT much money on public works is going to upset SOMEONE. But, it's needed. So here's what you do: You create a bill that's going to piss people off. You put a bunch of stuff in it that you may not have actually wanted, or stuff that you can put in later bills. This gives the opposition something to get their panties in a wad about. You concede those points, and give them what they want, still keeping the basic idea in your bill. You know this isn't nearly going to be enough to please them, but you at least make the effort to reach out and say "Look, we brought you guys in, we included you in the decision." Thus, when they still oppose the bill, you at least have the out of "Well, we tried," because you knew you had the votes all along to get what you actually wanted. You come out A. The victor, and B. Looking like the good guys because you at least reached forward to try to compromise. The Republicans simply look like they're throwing a tantrum because they know they're going to lose.
This gives you more leverage with both Moderate Republicans down the line who know they need to at least meet you halfway or risk looking like a bunch of stalwarts come the midterms; and leverage with the American People who voted you in and are seeing your ideas (and therefore, their ideas) come to fruition, making them feel good about having voted for you in the first place. Maybe then, they'll vote MORE of your kind in on the next go-round?
What an amazing concept, right?
Edit: Note not one Republican voted for the bill...not a single one of them. It took all of 9 days for the spirit of bipartisanship to prove worthless.
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